2001-05-02 - 4:07 a.m.
I'M LIVIN' IN A HELL HOLE! Spinal Tap is on. On another channel they're playing, Elvis: That's The Way It Is. I keep changing back and forth. It's a strange dichotomy. The Tap boys are singing at E's grave while The King is joking around with the Memphis Mafia. Where does rock stardom get you? Elvis died on the crapper, John Lennon was shot and Peter James Bond choked on someone else's vomit. THAT'S ALRIGHT MAMA. Now Nigel is playing "Lick My Love Pump" in the key of D minor, "The saddest of all keys." Derek is trying to pass through airport security with a cucumber down his pants. Elvis is talking about being filmed from the waist up on the Sullivan show. Artie Pfufkin wants the band to kick him, "I'm not asking, I'm telling with this, kick my ass." Love me tender, recorded in "dubly". E's walking through the audience doing his best Richard Dawson, his drummer fills every four measures. Nigel is playing a Flying V with a violin. E's jumpsuit fringe hangs down to the ground, his collar comes up past his mutton chops. A Stonehenge monument is in serious danger of being crushed by a dwarf. IN THE GHETTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
