2001-06-08 - 12:55 p.m.
Hello from Columbus, Oh. The tour is going well. I just got this email from Norm. Check it out.
My office is in the low-rent district, and the office space below mine
is
occupied by a call girl service. It is not a good situation at all. I
don't mind the girls, because just one look at them and you can tell
that
they are way to stoopid to make a living any other way. The pimp and
his
pit bull dog are really obnoxious, though, and I have come close to
brawling
with both of them. The other business around us have called the cops a
bunch of times. The cops don't give a rats ass about the prostitution,
but
they think that it is part of a pretty nasty gang that has its finger
in dog
fighting and other things, so they have it under surveillance. So at
any
rate, I've been seeing this guy sitting in his car in the parking lot
and I
assume that he is a plain-clothes pig. Now here is the real beginning
of
the story. The other day, I was sitting at my desk typing away on a
report
or some fucking thing, and of course I had Fat Headed Stranger playing.
A
couple of firemen came in to inspect our office, which they do yearly.
Who
do you suppose was tagging along with them but mister plain clothes,
dressed
up as a fireman. Maybe they were all pigs, but he was the only one
that I
new was for sure. I guess he wanted to get into the call girl
service's
office space and check it out. So Mr. plain clothes is pretending to
be a
fireman, and asks if he can look at the computer wiring under my desk.
So
there he is, crouching under my desk, when Wammo screams "I'm here to
do
heroin and fuck..." It caught me by surprise, I had forgotten what
was
playing. The cop jerks his head up and whacks it on the bottom of my
desk
so hard it makes my keyboard bounce, then comes scrambling out like the
hounds of hell are after him. It was sweet. Very sweet. Its not
often
that you get to see a cop make a complete fool of himself, but that guy
sure
left with his tail between his legs. So there you have it, the optimal
use
of a CD. Have an excellent day.
Your friend and mine,
Norm
Right on Norm. Keep them cards and letters coming.
