2001-06-18 - 9:47 a.m.
Hey guys, my computer is down. I have so much i wanna write about and no place to do it. I'm on a friend's computer right now. If anyone knows where I can get a computer cheap, let me know. I'm off to Europe tomorrow with the Spankers. Wheeee! Amsterdam! Hash! Hurray! Let's see, hilights of the last tour. A guy gave me a custom made bowling ball with the name of the band painted on it just like the Pabst Blue Ribbon logo. He told me that the last time he saw us, we had drunk up all the PBR in the bar. Mikey had to split from the tour because his Dad wasn't well, boo. His Dad's ok now, yea! In Nashville, a woman walked up to Christina, Brent and me while we were on break and asked, "Have the Spankers already played?"
BRENT - I think they're on break.
WOMAN - Is Guy Forsyth still the LEAD SINGER?
ME - Uh, I don't think so.
WOMAN - Yeah, he's got his own thing now. You know, I used to see the Spankers all the time at the Electric lounge in Austin.
ME - Really?
WOMAN - Oh yes, I used to live there. I used to see them every week. Is Christina still in the band?
ME - Gee, I don't know. (To Christina) Is Christina still in the band?
CHRISTINA - I don't know, I hate that bitch.
WOMAN - I know! She's such a snotty bitch! I can't believe what a snotty bitch she is! Everybody thinks she's nothing but a snotty bitch!
Brent, Christina and I are now doing our best to keep from laughing.
WOMAN - She's really nothing more than a snotty bitch!
CHRISTINA - Really? How do you know this?
WOMAN - Well, I used to work for Time Warner and (then she begins to ramble).
CHRISTINA - But what does that have to do with Christina being a snotty bitch?
WOMAN - Everybody knows she's a snotty bitch!
By this time I can't take it any more and I bust a gut, laughing. The woman doesn't notice that I'm practically rolling on the floor and goes on and on about what a snotty bitch Christina is until finally...
CHRISTINA - (laughing) I've never met you before in my life, dumb bitch! (Christina walks away, laughing harder.)
WOMAN - Was that Christina?
ME - Yep. Hi, I'm Wammo, I started the band. This is Brent, he plays guitar.
WOMAN - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (She runs away but doesn't leave the club.)
So, we all had a big laugh after that. Of course, we told the other guys the story. Then we told the story from stage during the second set. The woman screamed from the audience. "I'M SORRY - I'M SORRY!" Christina warned her about being a name dropper and I told her she was forgiven and we were gonna do a gospel song in her honor. Which we did. But the kicker came when Stanley, at the end of a long scat climaxed his solo by turning to Christina with fire in his eyes and growling, "Snotty bitch!" The entire band and audience erupted in laughter, we almost didn't finish the song.
