2001-07-04 - 10:22 a.m.
Whoooo weeee, do I feel light headed this morning. I hit Amsterdam in full force last night. Lotsa beer, lotsa smoke, lotsa staggering around. The red light district is the ultimate in temptation. You really learn the color of your own moral fiber when for twenty bucks, you can have anything you desire, no questions asked. Still, there is the question of one's own integrity. You walk down an alley and every window has a woman, sometimes breathtakingly beautiful, who wants nothing more than a small bit of cash to fulfill your boyhood fantasies and perhaps snip off a piece of your soul. Well kids, I've never paid for sex and I wasn't about to start but window shopping was a twisted bittersweet thrill. I'm really fucking glad I didn't do anything. It's an odd side of humanity to watch. "The oldest profession" is also one of the saddest. You just want to jump into one of the canals, do the backstroke and sing, "Where Is The Love?" I saw some really funny stuff though, a giant, stone, spurting cock in the middle of a fountain with two stone balls spinning around in frothy water, a guy walked up and offered to sell me "coke and viagra" - seems like an unbeatable combination, eh? I saw an ice cream and smoothy place called "Mannequin Piss" with a mannequin peeing as the logo, a brass lion's head door knocker with a foot long tongue and girls, girls, girls. A guy expertly ran his hand down the shirt I had tied around my waist to see if he could extract anything from the pocket, all in the amount of time it took to pass each other on the street. The last time I was here, Salty and I saw a guy steal a dude's wallet, the dude chased him down, the guy gave the wallet back, apologized and the dude said, "Oh that's ok, don't worry about it. I understand." Crazy town, man.
