2001-07-21 - 2:43 a.m.
I just finished reading Michael Moore's latest update and of course what do I want to do after reading about the atrocities of our political system? WATCH BATTLEBOTS! Yes friends, I can't help myself. Somewhere inside me is a little technogeek that thrills to sight of robots beating the crap out of each other in an automated arena that pulverizes both bots as well. Oh yeah, sparks fly and losers cry. Fuck team sports, fuck wrestling, fuck the poetry slam (LOL), nothing beats the mayhem of evil dweebs and their fighting machines. With names like T-Wrex, Toe Crusher, Minion, Dr. Inferno, Fork-n-stein, Little Sister and Vlad The Impaler, how can I resist? It cracks me up to think about the inventors slaving for hours and spending massive cash on elaborately designed bots that get humiliated by a simple wedge. Go bots. Crush. Smash. Dismember. Or call me for your free psychic reading. Go ahead, call me. I wanna replace Cleo, the friendly Jamaican tarot reader. This chick is always on TV, they must be raking in some serious cash to put her commercials on every station 24/7. I guess there are a lot of suckers out there who think, "Hmmmm, she's Jamaican, she must know the future. Just listen to that accent." As if smoking ganja and eating jerk chicken are prerequisites for contacting the paranormal. I don't mean any disrespect to the Jamaican people, they must laugh their asses off when they see this actress on TV posing as a fortune teller. I know I do. So call me now. I'll tell you everything you want to hear, for just $3.99 a minute.
